so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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