Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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