You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
