5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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