we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Damn victory sex feels great
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
