i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
