I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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