Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
