Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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