I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
