Nicole vs. Life
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
