shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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