i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
