As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
