We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
