oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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