Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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