I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
