What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
