Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
time to smoke my breakfast
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
