I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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