My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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