my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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