you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
