shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I want is dick and wine.
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