Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
please don't ironically join a cult
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