I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
