She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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