im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
