I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
