I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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