Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
