32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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