Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
