I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
