OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
