She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
