I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
