Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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