Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
