thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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