Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
