i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
