Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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