his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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