I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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