what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
