whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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