I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
