Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
