yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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