i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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