I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
